Jo, thank you for reposting this. This is my first time reading it and it is such a beautiful, heartfelt, vulnerable piece of writing. And one that resonates deeply.
I know I am definitely neurodivergent but never had any "official" tests. What I have found in the last year and a half is that turning to astrology has helped me accept these "weird and quirky" parts of me. Like you, I never really stick with one thing for too long. In my natal chart, I see that as my Gemini energy. And once I discovered the Gene Keys (based on the ancient I Ching modality) I went a layer deeper and found that I am meant to live my life that way. Not sure if you're familiar with the Gene Keys but I am something called 3rd Line in my sphere of Life's Work. That means I am meant to test out lots of different things and simply follow whatever lights me up. It can look and feel chaotic but it can also be the most wonderful, delightful, exciting way through life. Depends on your vantage point.
Either way, it made me think of maybe you having a dominant 3rd Line energy somewhere too. And I hope this is not overstepping any boundaries or taking value away from your ADD. I've found, for me, it has all been part of self-acceptance. I believe this is something we all strive for, whatever label we choose to do it through. :)
I’m a 4/6 Projector 😊 I really like Human Design. I walk away from it periodically but it rings true for me a lot of the time. And I share some of your Gemini energy - my moon (and my mother!). Labels feel restrictive to me but at the same time, methods for self-examination fascinate me!
I actually wept reading this. Not just because it's just a gorgeously moving piece of writing, but because it's so sharply, wearily familiar to me. In my own experience it was so damned difficult to get a diagnosis, despite having lifelong Very Obvious Things. I was second-guessed the whole way: "oh but you have a PhD so you can't have ADHD" (*brain actually explodes*). My own daughter was diagnosed when she was 13, and I look at my mother who has possibly one of the most extreme cases of it, (let alone a long line of women in my family - it seems to be the women only in my family - on my Irish side). It has had major impacts upon lives and livelihoods.
Like you - ADD here, but I was a little more hyperactive as a child, (possibly because school made me feel so anxious, and also because I wanted to do my Projects ; ).
Anyway, I relate to pretty much everything you've described, and feel that it's a problem mainly because we're of the system within which we're enmeshed. Untethered creative thinking doesn't "fit" well with linear productivity and time-keeping. Or admin - ahem.
The one true thing - my deep and abiding passion that I have been able to stick with, (for 40 plus years) is astrology. Everything else has been so hard to maintain, and I have so many interests/trainings/quals that I'm actually embarrassed to state them because it feels like a trail of evidence revealing all my failures, or things I've just let go because I lost interest.
My daughter and I use "hacks" rather than medication, (I respect others choice it is to do so, but we can't - it messes us up).
"Messy, feral, inconsistent, sometimes coping, but trying always to live" - yes indeed. And we often have devoted, generous hearts and a sensitivity that's worthy of nourishment.
Apologies for the too-long, passionate comment. This one goes very deep for me. Thankyou for writing all of it. x
Thank you for sharing your experience ❤️. I don’t want to do meds either, hence no motivation for an official diagnosis, but my daughter did so we went ahead. I’m glad she has that choice.
I’ve noticed, over the past year - and I don’t know if you’ve had similar experience - that I actually do have a degree of hyperactivity. Unlike Charlie, I don’t have the “twitchy leg” version but I can’t stay anywhere for very long. Social gatherings? Nope. The more relaxed and informal, the sooner I’m on my feet and needing to leave. Traffic queue? U-turn and an extra ten miles every time. I’ve always sedated myself with food at a desk, on drives, theatre, cinema. Without that I’m gone!
Aug 23, 2022·edited Aug 23, 2022Liked by Jo Hanlon-Moores
I have only just come across this: Jo's post and your reply and yes both have had that effect on me too. I've suspected for years but read the wrong book which focused on the hyperactivity. I am very definitely inattentive. Just need to read most of my school reports. Introvert and on and on. And yes the shaming. From childhood right the way through a toxic marriage that thank god is almost behind me. Interesting that Jo mentions 'bandwagon'. I have no idea but this is the second post on Substack in two days talking about this in a way that goes deep deep inside me .... I haven't got to anyone else's replies yet. EVERYTHING that is written here on this page resonates and I don't quite know what to do with this: that women are so eloquently sharing their experiences here and I get it, really get it. so thank you so much to all of you ....
Oh how deeply this touched me! I am 64 and your words resonate so deeply. I have always thought something was wrong with me. I never really fit in I always felt the square peg in the round hole. Add my hyper sensitivity and need for solace solitude and quiet to reboot. I have so many genius plans, heck I’m even working on a PhD but doubtful I’ll have the ability to see the dissertation thru...I don’t plan that far ahead... You have liberated me as well...here us ti new discoveries and beginnings!
Jo, thank you for reposting this. This is my first time reading it and it is such a beautiful, heartfelt, vulnerable piece of writing. And one that resonates deeply.
I know I am definitely neurodivergent but never had any "official" tests. What I have found in the last year and a half is that turning to astrology has helped me accept these "weird and quirky" parts of me. Like you, I never really stick with one thing for too long. In my natal chart, I see that as my Gemini energy. And once I discovered the Gene Keys (based on the ancient I Ching modality) I went a layer deeper and found that I am meant to live my life that way. Not sure if you're familiar with the Gene Keys but I am something called 3rd Line in my sphere of Life's Work. That means I am meant to test out lots of different things and simply follow whatever lights me up. It can look and feel chaotic but it can also be the most wonderful, delightful, exciting way through life. Depends on your vantage point.
Either way, it made me think of maybe you having a dominant 3rd Line energy somewhere too. And I hope this is not overstepping any boundaries or taking value away from your ADD. I've found, for me, it has all been part of self-acceptance. I believe this is something we all strive for, whatever label we choose to do it through. :)
I’m a 4/6 Projector 😊 I really like Human Design. I walk away from it periodically but it rings true for me a lot of the time. And I share some of your Gemini energy - my moon (and my mother!). Labels feel restrictive to me but at the same time, methods for self-examination fascinate me!
I completely agree. Modalities that allow deep self-exploration are so liberating.
What a magical Moon to have, your Gemini Moon. :)
I actually wept reading this. Not just because it's just a gorgeously moving piece of writing, but because it's so sharply, wearily familiar to me. In my own experience it was so damned difficult to get a diagnosis, despite having lifelong Very Obvious Things. I was second-guessed the whole way: "oh but you have a PhD so you can't have ADHD" (*brain actually explodes*). My own daughter was diagnosed when she was 13, and I look at my mother who has possibly one of the most extreme cases of it, (let alone a long line of women in my family - it seems to be the women only in my family - on my Irish side). It has had major impacts upon lives and livelihoods.
Like you - ADD here, but I was a little more hyperactive as a child, (possibly because school made me feel so anxious, and also because I wanted to do my Projects ; ).
Anyway, I relate to pretty much everything you've described, and feel that it's a problem mainly because we're of the system within which we're enmeshed. Untethered creative thinking doesn't "fit" well with linear productivity and time-keeping. Or admin - ahem.
The one true thing - my deep and abiding passion that I have been able to stick with, (for 40 plus years) is astrology. Everything else has been so hard to maintain, and I have so many interests/trainings/quals that I'm actually embarrassed to state them because it feels like a trail of evidence revealing all my failures, or things I've just let go because I lost interest.
My daughter and I use "hacks" rather than medication, (I respect others choice it is to do so, but we can't - it messes us up).
"Messy, feral, inconsistent, sometimes coping, but trying always to live" - yes indeed. And we often have devoted, generous hearts and a sensitivity that's worthy of nourishment.
Apologies for the too-long, passionate comment. This one goes very deep for me. Thankyou for writing all of it. x
Thank you for sharing your experience ❤️. I don’t want to do meds either, hence no motivation for an official diagnosis, but my daughter did so we went ahead. I’m glad she has that choice.
I’ve noticed, over the past year - and I don’t know if you’ve had similar experience - that I actually do have a degree of hyperactivity. Unlike Charlie, I don’t have the “twitchy leg” version but I can’t stay anywhere for very long. Social gatherings? Nope. The more relaxed and informal, the sooner I’m on my feet and needing to leave. Traffic queue? U-turn and an extra ten miles every time. I’ve always sedated myself with food at a desk, on drives, theatre, cinema. Without that I’m gone!
I have only just come across this: Jo's post and your reply and yes both have had that effect on me too. I've suspected for years but read the wrong book which focused on the hyperactivity. I am very definitely inattentive. Just need to read most of my school reports. Introvert and on and on. And yes the shaming. From childhood right the way through a toxic marriage that thank god is almost behind me. Interesting that Jo mentions 'bandwagon'. I have no idea but this is the second post on Substack in two days talking about this in a way that goes deep deep inside me .... I haven't got to anyone else's replies yet. EVERYTHING that is written here on this page resonates and I don't quite know what to do with this: that women are so eloquently sharing their experiences here and I get it, really get it. so thank you so much to all of you ....
Oh how deeply this touched me! I am 64 and your words resonate so deeply. I have always thought something was wrong with me. I never really fit in I always felt the square peg in the round hole. Add my hyper sensitivity and need for solace solitude and quiet to reboot. I have so many genius plans, heck I’m even working on a PhD but doubtful I’ll have the ability to see the dissertation thru...I don’t plan that far ahead... You have liberated me as well...here us ti new discoveries and beginnings!
Oh the sensitivity!! I know! Thank you so much for your comment, it means so much. I bet you do that dissertation, just in your own unique way.