Look back to July 25th-Sept 6th eight years ago, said an astrologer1. Probably Chani Nicholas, whose app I subscribe and pay attention to because she is so often bang on the money (her transits and personal readings are based on your Ascendant, not your sun sign, which I believe makes all the difference.) She suggested - and I’m paraphrasing as an amateur enthusiast, astro-wise - that summer 2015 (North) was the last time Venus went retrograde in Leo. Just like she’s doing now. This retro asks us to look again at what we love, value, cherish, find beautiful etc. Think Venusian Values. For me, it’s happening in my second house (as a Cancer Rising) which focusses on finances, resources, values and self-worth. Also my fourth house (as a Venus-ruled Taurean), house of home and family; parents and property; later life.
I wasn’t journalling back in 2015 and my memory, while good, is not that good. Which is why I found myself in the strange position of actually being grateful for Instagram. I know.
Since 2015, I’ve twice relocated on the ‘gram but all three accounts (and maybe more besides, I couldn’t possibly comment) are still viewable. Taking a look back brought three realisations:
1: Astrology is creepy
Seriously. There are so many parallels between our current situation (our, as in: my family of three) and how we were in 2015. Then we were coming out of years of personal, financial dismantling. Now it’s a general economic downturn but our belts are becoming uncomfortably tight, like a lot of other peoples’. Back then we were waiting on an injection of money that would turn things around for us. We knew when it was coming and had begun to breathe again. Now, we’re in a similar boat except we don’t have a set date - we’re waiting on the sale of my late father’s house. It’ll happen eventually. See those second and fourth house topics? Here they are again…2
As we waited in 2015, I put together plans to train in and then build a business around flower essences and other modalities. I did the training and then it became apparent our daughter needed to come out of school and learn at home. She was my priority for the next few years and by the time she got to college (UK version, 16-18), my dad needed me to run his life and care for him. It’s only now that I can look up and start to think about my own working future.
Without even thinking about 2015, I’ve put myself almost back where I was before the road forked. The same things matter to me. The same things are beautiful to me. My knowledge and experience have grown by eight years but there’s always more for me to learn.
Here I am, back at 2015 only I’m hopefully kinder, stronger, and more in touch with my better self than I was then. Astrologically, I’ve completed my second Saturn Return and it was a doozy. Those are lessons I’ll never forget as I move towards building my “later life”.
2: 2015 was awesome
To reiterate, 2010-early 2015 was a make-or-break period for us in all the ways. Finances, mental health, relationships, every damn thing. While the anxiety that we’d come to live with took a long time to leave - and still rears its ugly head on the semi-regular - July (specifically the 29th) brought a lightness to life. We could look forward to things. Plan. Dream. We had not drowned.
In small-but-mighty ways, life was sweet. I look at the photos and the nostalgia is powerful. Also, we went to Australia that autumn and it was the Best Thing Ever.
3: 2023 is better
Humanity has hurtled further towards its own destruction over the last eight years, and there’s an uneasy feeling that time is short(er) both personally and collectively. On bad days I wonder if we shouldn’t be stockpiling canned goods and going off grid somewhere remote and “abroad”, but on good days I remember Thich Nhat Hanh’s statement that “because you are alive, anything is possible.”
Bits of me hurt that didn’t hurt in 2015 but other bits…they healed stronger than they were; more resilient. Physically and emotionally, I dance more often.
I’ve come to know that whatever I do now, I’ll do it better than I ever would have done before. Somehow I was meant to do it now, with grey hair, and lines on my face; an intolerance for bullshit and a trust in goodness - even if I see it in the other-than-human more often than not.
In 2015, I wanted to believe in the power of love and in 2023, I do.
Where were you in August 2015? Does it tie in to where you are now? What you’re doing? I feel like I’m looking at a second chance, or perhaps a performance after a dress rehearsal. Is that present for you? There’s lots of room in the comments if you have anything to share.
I apologise in advance to the astrologers reading. I’m a long time enthusiast who actually knows very little. Forgive me and feel free to correct!
Even if my take on astrology is all wrong; even if you think astrology is all wrong; the links between our 2015 and our 2023 are powerful for me and worth contemplating. And if that isn’t a retrograde energy…
Oh I love this! Thank you for putting these thoughts together & sharing. I’ll have to spend some time thinking back to 2015 & comparing to today. I will say, it feels a bit of a whirlwind between then & now, so it may take earnest concentration to remember back. It’s wonderful to hear you’re in such a good place with more on the horizon.
You made me think about this too, and while, for me, the return to 2015 was uncomfortable, there are definitely echoes.